Johns Hopkins is Pretty Dumb

Dear Vivian,

WOWOWW I think a lot of those are really good schools anyway! Johns Hopkins is pretty dumb for not accepting you because it seems like you’re really smart and are also in every club known to mankind!!!!! I bet you’ll like whichever one you pick. I haven’t even started THINKING about college yet. I think my mom would want me to stay closer to home than Wisconsin because my brother really looks up to me. Like last night I made a pile of spaghetti into the replica of the tower of pisa and then he did it too. But then he smashed both of our towers with his hand which was super funny. But then we got tomato sauce everywhere and dude my mom was maaaaaaaaaad.

Do you think we have time to solve one more mystery before you go away forever?

– Hector / Grape Juice

Vivian Didn’t Get Accepted to Johns Hopkins

Dear Hector,

You really don’t need to thank me. When I read that he peed on you I didn’t care about the mystery anymore. That’s just WRONG to do to people. Not to mention completely gross.

I got into Vassar, Rutgers, University of Wisconsin and a few others. I don’t know which one I’m going to yet because honestly I didn’t get into Johns Hopkins which was my favorite and also now my mom can’t stop reminding me that that was THE BEST PROGRAM and that I DIDN’T GET IN. Ugh. Whatever. I’m leaving her forever soon. I don’t even really care about medical school.

It’s funny knowing who you actually are now. I think we had gym the same period last year.



Hector (Code Name: Grape Juice)

Hey Vivian,

Hopefully you will get this note and it won’t get grabbed up by someone in between. I just wanted to say thanks for turning over the detective logs to the principal. You were right. That was the right thing to do. I was really freaked out about it because I thought Billy would know it was me and come after me. You know he used to carry a switch blade around, right?

Now that he’s gone and he doesn’t know it was us I feel way better.  Like a million times better. Like I can’t even pay attention in math class better.

It was really fun being a detective with you but I know you’re going away to college soon. Where did you get in? You don’t have to tell me if that’s weird or something. Anyway, thanks for being cool about all of this and me getting peed on and everything hahaha.

Seeeeeee you around,

– Hector (aka GRAPE JUICE!!!)

Pinnies: Solved

Dear Vivian,

i spent a long time looking at this page before i wrote this.

I solved our mystery but I’m


Okay Vivian I have to write this in here because I thought about telling you in person but I don’t want to do that either. I found out who is peeing on the pinnies. It’s Billy Braddish. Maybe you know him. He’s a senior. I know him. He scares me. One time he cut some kid’s hair off and he steals people’s lunch money like every day. Well anyway he’s the one peeing on the pinnies and I know it for a fact because I saw him do it and then he peed on me too. me and two other kids who were hanging around afterschool.

well anyway, I solved the mystery so you can go be in the yearbook now or whatever.

– grape whatever

Wrong Pinnies


It’s okay that you put the pinnies in my locker. But these aren’t the right pinnies. The ones I’m talking about are red and blue and pretty old and dirty. These ones are new and plus they don’t even smell like pee.

– The Juice


Dear Grape Juice,

Sorry!!!!!!! I didn’t want to smell them because I was afraid I would smell the pee. Which gym teachers are in the east gym again? I forget their names. I’ll try the same trick but with an alibi this time!

– Viv

Vivian Needed an Alibi

Dear Grape Juice,

Sorry I had to hide these pinnies in your locker! I hope you don’t mind it’s just that I had to make up a fake volley ball practice to get coach Hyek to give them to me but I couldn’t bring them home exactly because my mom would notice and ask why I had them.  I guess I didn’t plan an alibi. We’ll have to keep things like that in mind.

So I hope it’s okay that I put them in your locker.



Vivian Believes

@ Grape Juice,

OH MY GOD THAT’S SO GROSS. You think someone is PEEING on the pinnies in the east gym???! I never have gym in there anymore since I’m an upperclassman now but if you say it’s true then I BELIEVE YOU. That sounds like exactly  like the kind of mystery we need to solve!!

That gym is only used by sophomores and freshman so I think we can start there looking for suspects (no offense). Do you think it’s happening during school or after school? After school seems more likely. We should also try and figure out where they store the pinnies after you guys throw them all back in that mesh bag. It’s gotta be in one of the gym teacher’s offices. I have Mr. Hylek for study hall so I’ll pretend I need them for the volleyball team or something and ask him.

I guess you can call me Viv.

– Vivian

P.S. Sorry again that it took me so long to respond. I just have like 20 hours of homework a WEEK it feels like.

Pinnies in the New Gym


Is it cool if I start calling you Viv? It’s just shorter is all.

I think I know a really good mystery for us to solve. We should try and find out why the pinnies in the new gymnasium always smell like piss. I know you probably think that’s gross and for once Vivian I agree. They ALWAYS smell like piss. They smell so much like piss that I am 100% convinced that someone is peeing on them. That seems to me to be the kind of mystery that everyone would thank us for solving. What do you think?

– Grape Juice

Only REAL Mysteries Get in the Year Book

@ Grape Juice:

I’m glad you found your brother’s superman pencil. You know you really shouldn’t be in the habit of borrowing other people’s things.

Grape Juice, we need to find a REAL mystery. Something that really challenges us, you know? How are we ever going to improve as detectives if we stick to small fries? We have to think of a mystery that affects the WHOLE SCHOOL. And then when we figure it out, everyone will thank us for it. Maybe we could even get in the year book!! I’ve never gotten into the year book (except for my picture, obviously) even though I WON the sophomore science fair. I do NOT understand what they do and don’t take pictures of. I’ve never even been in the candids!!!

Seriously brain-storming,

Superman Pencil Gone Missing


Maybe we can try and find out who took my superman pencil? It’s kind of my younger brother’s and he really likes it but I borrowed it and then I lost it LIKE AN IDIOT. It’s been missing for like A WEEK. He even tattled and told my mom. I don’t think she was really paying attention though because he’s like 9 and just says things all the time that barely make sense.

Yeah I know Robby Safir but we’re not really friends. He can blow air through his eyes. Have you ever seen anyone do that? It’s super weird.

– Grape Juice


Nevermind I found it (the pencil).

– Juice

Vivian was suuuuper busy with volley ball

Dear Grape Juice,

OMG I’m SOOOOO sorry I haven’t been writing in the detective log. I SWEAR I’ve been checking it like every other day or so but I didn’t know what to write! I thought the trail had gone cold, you know? Plus I was suuuuuper busy with volley ball practice and then I got sick and them my mom was being a huge bitch ANNOYING PERSON about where I have to apply to college. Omg, Grape Juice, just WAIT until you’re a senior. It’s AWFUL.

WOW I’m really impressed that you solved the mystery! That was pretty fun though, wasn’t it? I think we make a pretty good detective force.  It’s like, I’m the captain and you’re like the plain-clothes-cop. You know?

I’ve been thinking. Maybe we should keep this detective log around just in case there is another mystery at school. I know almost EVERYONE in my year and few people in the junior class too. I even know some sophomores (besides you) so I’m sure we can find other people who need detective work done.

What do you think?

p.s. You’re in marching band? Do you know Robby Safir? Or Josh Burke?

G: Case closed


You will not believe this. I SOLVED OUR MYSTERY.

So I was stranded after school 2 days ago because I was at a marching band meeting because we’re all going to DC in the spring. But then my mom forgot to pick me up afterward so I was stranded.  Anyway, I started wandering around the halls because I was bored and didn’t know what else to do until it occurred to me to visit our desk and see if “G” was there.

G was totally there! Her name is Gina! There’s like a Russian language class that gets taught in our room every day after school and SHE SITS AT OUR DESK. She’s leaving to go to like Siberia or whatever next month to teach kids about America or something. She’s like in her 20s!! She was pretty cool.

So it turns out that all of those notes were translations she had to do for her homework and she left them in the desk by accident until she started getting notes from you so then she started leaving them on purpose!! Isn’t that NUTS???

Anyway, I just thought I’d let you know. I hope you still read this detective log.

Anyway, whatever,
Grape Juice

Things we know about “G” (updated)

Dear Grape Juice,

Okay you’re right. Here are all the things we know about G:

1. First desk from the right in the second row of rm. 401
2. Notes are gross
3. G could be a guy or a girl
4. G could be any year (but probably not a freshman)
5. I get the notes and you don’t
6. G says we can throw away the notes

Also, if you’re a sophomore, I want to try and guess who YOU are. Are you friends with Samantha Mayes? Or Nancy Nataglia? Samantha Mayes is my neighbor but Nancy is more like my friend. We went to volley ball camp together. She’s kind of weird. Actually, they’re both kind of weird.

– Vivian

Grape Juice is, in fact, a sophomore

Dear Vivian,

It’s okay if you know I’m a sophomore. I guess at some point you might also figure out who I am. But for now I am GRAPE JUICE!!!!

Okay so I sit in that desk during 6th period study hall with Mr. Block. Do you have that guy for anything? He is so awkward!! So does that mean that “G” leaves the notes after 6th period? I think that makes sense.

It’s okay if you don’t want me to have the combination to your locker. I guess I didn’t even think about it that way. I wasn’t trying to be a creep and smell all your notebooks something.

-Grape Juice, P.I.

Hey wait, don’t we also know that “G” isn’t leaving the notes for you? That might be important? That we can just throw them away? Who would leave notes that are okay to throw away?

Things we know about “G”

Dear Grape Juice,

This is our detective log. I want to be clear that we need to be completely serious about this. This is all time I could be spending studying for the S.A.T. or doing extracurricular projects.

Anyway, here is all of the information we have about “G” so far:

1. Leaves weird notes in the first desk from the right in the second row of room 401 in the junior wing.
2. The notes are usually about things that are gross
3. We don’t know if G is a guy or a girl
4. We don’t know what year G is
5. I get the notes and you don’t

I think we should work with the fifth thing right now. I sit in that desk 4th period for math. When do you sit there?

– Vivian, P.I.

P.S. I thought about your idea for passing this detective log between our lockers but I really don’t feel comfortable giving you my locker combination. Nothing personal. Is it okay if we just keep it in yours?

P.P.S. I got the feeling you wanted to remain anonymous but you realize that I now know you have a locker in the sophomore wing, right?

Grape Juice’s locker combination


Holy gobstoppers, batman! This guy isn’t fooling around! What could it mean? Maybe it’s in code? Maybe it’s like a metaphor? Have you read The Da Vinci Code? I thought it was okay but I liked the movie better. NICHOLAS CAGE IS THE MAN!

Okay right. Back to detective work. I have another notebook too, I guess. It has spiderman on it because it’s my younger brother’s. I don’t think he’d mind if we used it to solve mysteries. But maybe two notebooks is too many? I think my mom has a magnifying glass?

I have an idea of where we can keep the moleskin detective book. What if I give you my locker combination and you give me yours and we just pass it back and forth as necessary? My locker number is 1681 and the combo is 33-22-59.

This message will self destruct in 1 minute!!!!!!!!
-Grape Juice

Vivian says it’s “URGENT”


Dear Grape Juice,

I got another clue from “G” today! I left it in the desk this time so you can read it too.

How GROSS is this? I wish I had kept the other two notes so I could show you but basically all you need to know at this point is that they are really weird. I think we need to team up IMMEDIATELY to try and figure out who this character is! I have already offered up my moleskin notebook that I got for my birthday. What detective tools/resources do you have?


Vivian and Grape Juice team up

Dear G & Grape Juice,

@ Grape Juice. Who says I’m uptight? I’m not uptight! Sorry I called you Grape Juice if you didn’t want to be called Grape Juice but you should keep in mind that teasing other people will often get you stuck with a nickname you don’t like.

Anyway, I would love some help trying to figure out who this “G” character is. I was something of a super sleuth last summer at our villa in Portugal. There was a mysterious dog who kept bringing us other people’s toys. Anyway, it’s a long story but I figured it all out.

Good observation about when this person is leaving the notes! You know, I have an extra moleskin notebook in my backpack that I carry around for no reason. Maybe we could turn that into out detective journal? I don’t want to leave it in the desk, though. Other people might steal it because it’s a moleskin and they are very desirable. What period do you have gym or lunch? I could find you then, maybe?

@ G. Come on! Give us a hint! Also, you never answered my question why you were leaving those weird notes. Who were they for? Why haven’t you written any in a while. Is that a clue?

Grape Juice, private eye

Dear Vivian,

First of all, I didn’t call myself Grape Juice. YOU called me Grape Juice. Also, I’m not rude just because I wrote your name a zillion times on a piece of paper and then included the word “grape juice.” I was just bored in class, alright? Cool it. If this is the Vivian I think it is you should know that some people say that you are uptight but I didn’t think so until right now. You should try to work on that. I always thought you were pretty okay.

So apparently we sit in the same seat in this classroom. Kinda cool, right? And so does this “G” person though I’ve never seen any of the notes they leave. That should mean something logically, right? Like G sits here after me but before you? Is that right? I’m really bad at math stuff. Maybe I can help you figure out who it is? We could be like detectives and shit.

Anyway, I like having this code name.

-Grape Juice

Shut up, grape juice.

Dear G and Grape Juice,

@ G: Ugh, this is really annoying. Apparently there is some third person reading these. He calls himself “Grape Juice.” I’m assuming it’s a boy because he’s so rude. G, why would you put letters in a desk when you KNOW people change class rooms every period?! At least, I don’t think you and Grape Juice are the same person. You have really different handwriting which I guess people can fake but I am willing to trust you so far.

Are you a guy or a girl? I really want to know who this is! Why do you keep leaving letters in my desk? And why are they so weird?

@ Grape Juice: Shut up and stop reading these. They are private.

With Sincerity

Weird letters in my desk?

Excuse me but who keeps leaving all of these notes in my desk? I sit here during 4th period A.P. Algebra on Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays. Does anyone else sitting at this desk read these notes or is it just me?The first one was like from an elementary school student or something?  And the other was someone who didn’t speak English very well complaining about cheezits.

Is this a joke? I’m leaving this note here for you to explain yourself please. Are you also in A.P. classes? Just curious!

Thanks & no hard feelings,


Dear, Vivian

Vivian Vivian Vivian Vivian Vivian Vivian Vivian Vivian Vivian

Vivian Vivian Vivian grape juice Vivian Vivian Vivian Vivian Vivian

Vivian Vivian Vivian Vivian Vivian Vivian Vivian Vivian Vivian Vivian

Vivian Vivian Vivian Vivian Vivian Vivian Vivian Vivian Vivian Vivian




Those letters are not for you but you can throw them away.

– G