iJOURNAL
This account is not currently synced with your iWork or ToolBuddy. Click HERE to sync!
Date: 4/11/43
Location: Linsdale, NY
Mood: …
I have returned to my father’s house after his suicide. It’s eerie being here. Not just because he’s dead but also because we really didn’t talk much this whole year.
I see now that I was avoiding my father because he was getting so depressed that it scared me. I didn’t want to be around him like that. He seemed so old and frail and sad. I fled to Princeton where I could keep in touch with him by video chat on a “regular basis.” I’m such a fucking coward.
The house has changed a lot since I was last here. All his notes and books, normally organized, are scattered and messy. There was almost no food in the fridge. I threw most of it away. It looks as though he was not taking proper care of himself. I feel ashamed and guilty, responsible in some ways for his suicide. I’m going to stay here for the next two days cleaning and collecting items.
Based on keywords from this entry + your personalized Buy History, iJOURNAL has 7 new recommendations! Click here for more info!