The Atheist Mission

The Atheist Mission is the first irreligious world religion. As of this publishing in 2041, there are roughly 1.3 million members of the Atheist Mission.

Atheist Missionism was born out of an online chat community called the Atheist Scientific & Social Engineers Society (ASSES) which was first proposed and founded by <blaaahbarf59> in the “F**k Jesus” section of reddit. <blaaahbarf59> is now a member of the High Critics bar, a group of prestigious Missions who dictate the Atheist Mission rules and behavioral codes.

“It is, of course, an individuals choice if they want to follow our guidelines,” said High Critic Leroy Mason (<bitchesloveme99>), “but we dedicate a lot of time and research into these rules for our followers to observe. In the fight against god-fearing idiots, we have to stick together.”

In the About section of the High Critics explain that Atheist Missionism is essentially a fight against idolatry: “Idolatry not only refers to the worship of a God. Man commits idolatry whenever he honours and reveres a creature in place of God, whether this be gods, or demons (for example: satanism), power, pleasure, race, ancestors, the state, money etc.”

Atheist Missions tend to be white, English-speaking males between the ages 16-30.

The Atheist Mission is often conflated with The Internet Mission, another outgrowth of reddit’s atheism chapter. Devotees to The Internet Mission tend to be hermetic, dedicating their lives to printing out sections of the internet and binding them into manuscripts that are kept in a secret vault known only to the inner circle of The Internet Mission. The aim is to create a complete analog compendium of all digital human knowledge so that it is preserved in case of permanent interruption to the internet. This group has been nicknamed “the printernets.”


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