Markfel Joon the Godhead Goon

Markfel Joon

The Godhead goon

Brought us religion from heaven’s own spring

And your teachers will croon

Of Joon’s sacred boon

But they seem to have forgotten one thing

Joon’s berth is in glory*

Handsome and hoary

The soldier who studied the arts

We all know his story

Noble, pious and gory

But what of his great holy farts?

– sourced from Glijmo Yoll’s Goon Scrolls which were discovered in 1966 along the Côte Sauvage, Poitou-Charentes in France. Translated from Goonspeak to English by Aamer Belkins-Dunjhab. 

 *Translator’s notes: “Markfel Joon’s berth is in glory,” is from a Goon historical text called The Broken Soil (Hib-ai Klinjustuh gra). This text has not been recovered in its entirety but the phrase used in Yoll’s poem was found in sec. 9 par. 17. We can only assume it was a widespread text that even goonchildren would be familiar with. 

Goon Captain Glisl

The fiercest goon pirate

The so-called Sea Tyrant

Was Captain Glisl, bringer of woes

He was cruel and defiant

A physical giant

But a goon only reaps what he sows

His language was rank

He constantly drank

His garnered riches that brought him no pleasure

So when his sturdy sloop banked

So hard that it sanked

His bones came to rest among treasure

– sourced from Glijmo Yoll’s Goon Scrolls which were discovered in 1966 along the Côte Sauvage, Poitou-Charentes in France. Translated from Goonspeak to English by Aamer Belkins-Dunjhab.