Goonstyle Rising in Urban Centers

Fashionistas in major cities all over the United States may be noticing the changing window dressing in their favorite chic boutiques this season. Mostly because this seasons’s style is all about Goonstyle.

Fringe fashion blogger and self-described ‘Cultural Deviant’ Taylor McGavin has been following the emergent Goon trend since 2007. “It all started up in Rome in the fall of that year,” she explains. “Just all of a sudden you started seeing Goon craftsmanship incorporated into a lot of boot production there. The engraving, the spikes, blacks, reds, gems. All of it. Not all at once but overall you could see it happening. The style was  picked up in Moscow five years later where it started to spread like crazy to most Eastern European cities. They were onto this trend way before London and the west. Which is weird, right? Since the Goon Scrolls were discovered in France by that American guy I think? Anyway, totally weird and I love it.”

But McGavin isn’t the only person who caught on early to this emerging trend. Lili Mascopone was interning in Italy at a design company that works in Dolce & Gabbana in the winter of 2009. She also spotted the Gooncraze in its early beginnings.

“The goonfashion is known throughout Italy now. A woman will not leave her house unless she has an article of goonfashion with her. It’s the most I’ve ever seen a trend affect people. Trendy people love trendy clothes, yes, but this goonfashion is a must-have for people of all fashions. It’s so simple to incorporated into anyone’s closet or life style. On any budget. It is truly a new era of fashion.” As she tells us this, she sports her ragged black and white silk t shirt declaring “i ❤ Goon.”

Goonstyle is characterized by heavy leathers, furs, and translucent materials that simulate goos and greases. Marc Jacobs, Sigrid Olsen, and Lucky Jeans have all announced that their winter collections will be exclusively in Goonstyle.

Markfel Joon the Godhead Goon

Markfel Joon

The Godhead goon

Brought us religion from heaven’s own spring

And your teachers will croon

Of Joon’s sacred boon

But they seem to have forgotten one thing

Joon’s berth is in glory*

Handsome and hoary

The soldier who studied the arts

We all know his story

Noble, pious and gory

But what of his great holy farts?

– sourced from Glijmo Yoll’s Goon Scrolls which were discovered in 1966 along the Côte Sauvage, Poitou-Charentes in France. Translated from Goonspeak to English by Aamer Belkins-Dunjhab. 

 *Translator’s notes: “Markfel Joon’s berth is in glory,” is from a Goon historical text called The Broken Soil (Hib-ai Klinjustuh gra). This text has not been recovered in its entirety but the phrase used in Yoll’s poem was found in sec. 9 par. 17. We can only assume it was a widespread text that even goonchildren would be familiar with. 

Goon Captain Glisl

The fiercest goon pirate

The so-called Sea Tyrant

Was Captain Glisl, bringer of woes

He was cruel and defiant

A physical giant

But a goon only reaps what he sows

His language was rank

He constantly drank

His garnered riches that brought him no pleasure

So when his sturdy sloop banked

So hard that it sanked

His bones came to rest among treasure

– sourced from Glijmo Yoll’s Goon Scrolls which were discovered in 1966 along the Côte Sauvage, Poitou-Charentes in France. Translated from Goonspeak to English by Aamer Belkins-Dunjhab. 

Goonshallots

Goonshallots are

So incredibly hard

You must first burst them wide

With a mallet

But if you dip them in lard

And fry them softly in tar

They make an almost palatable salad

– sourced from Glijmo Yoll’s Goon Scrolls which were discovered in 1966 along the Côte Sauvage, Poitou-Charentes in France. Translated from Goonspeak to English by Aamer Belkins-Dunjhab. 

Boondoggling Goons

Boondoggling goons

Were sent to the moon

As part of a triptych mission

But one afternoon

The ship’s core ballooned

And they underwent nuclear fission

– sourced from Glijmo Yoll’s Goon Scrolls which were discovered in 1966 along the Côte Sauvage, Poitou-Charentes in France. Translated from Goonspeak to English by Aamer Belkins-Dunjhab.