Chased by Ninjas

Emma Willard claims that yesterday afternoon she was chased down by a pack of ninjas.

“There were just so many of them. I could feel my heart in my throat,” 38-year old Willard told local reporters. She explained that she was on her way home from the grocery store where she had purchased more than 30 cans of beans and fruit.  “The government-ordered electromagnetic pulse will be coming any day now so I really don’t even normally go out. Today was a weird exception because we just really needed more food in the basement. I don’t want to do this interview anymore. I just want to be at home with my children.”

Willard speculated that the ninjas were Harvard graduates. When asked why she believed this to be the case, she gnashed her teeth and muttered, “Liberals.”

Only REAL Mysteries Get in the Year Book

@ Grape Juice:

I’m glad you found your brother’s superman pencil. You know you really shouldn’t be in the habit of borrowing other people’s things.

Grape Juice, we need to find a REAL mystery. Something that really challenges us, you know? How are we ever going to improve as detectives if we stick to small fries? We have to think of a mystery that affects the WHOLE SCHOOL. And then when we figure it out, everyone will thank us for it. Maybe we could even get in the year book!! I’ve never gotten into the year book (except for my picture, obviously) even though I WON the sophomore science fair. I do NOT understand what they do and don’t take pictures of. I’ve never even been in the candids!!!

Seriously brain-storming,